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If We Had This Night Together
'... beep beep ... beep beep ... beep beep ...' Lieutenant Malcolm Reed tore his eyes away from the PADD and looked at his watch. 1950 hours, he was due in the gym in ten minutes for another self-defense class. He got up and went over to the closet to get the stuff he needed. The tactical officer of the Enterprise was a rokudan, a 6th dan black belt judoka and he was responsible for making sure that the whole crew of the NX-01 was able to get out of a fight in one piece. He didn't have to look at his schedule to know whose turn it was today. Sighing he rubbed his neck, recalling the lean body, the muscular chest and the strong arms of his opponent in tonight's course. He knew the man by heart, the way he moved, the way he fought, he had memorized everything about him, because he loved him. Normally Malcolm didn't have problems with keeping his feelings for this man under wraps, he was from a Royal Navy family after all, but this one hour every single week took up every little bit of his self-control. It meant being close to the person he desired for a short period of time and then going back to his quarters all by himself, alone, his body and soul aching for the other man. At precisely 2000 hours Malcolm entered the gym and started to do his warm-up routines. When he heard the door opening he stopped and turned around slowly. "Good evening, Lieutenant!" Captain Jonathan Archer put his bag next to one of the benches. Just like Malcolm he was barefoot and wore a judogi, the white trousers and the white jacket designed for Malcolm's favorite sport, a black belt, if only a 1st dan, encircling his narrow waist. "Good evening, Sir!" Malcolm had to suppress a sigh. No matter how often he saw his superior like that, he was still stunned by how dazzling the older man looked. He had fallen for him the moment the captain had stepped into Admiral Forrest's office at Star Fleet Headquarters the day Malcolm had been assigned to Enterprise. The determined look in those green eyes, the proud bearing and the way he had talked about their mission had impressed Malcolm immensely. The tactical officer found himself staring at Jonathan's body while the captain was stretching every muscle in order to warm up for the training. He moved with the grace of a tiger, his muscles well tuned and Malcolm wondered what it would feel like to touch that man, what it would feel like to be touched by that man, what it would feel like to make love to him. Was he as gracious as he moved or was he wild and cunning? He felt himself harden and turned around quickly. 'You are never going to find out anyway, so get your mind of him!' Malcolm had had those thoughts over and over again in the last few months and he knew it was hopeless. He was determined not to let his feelings rule his life or interfere with his work but it was hard. Whenever he closed his eyes pictures and sounds appeared out of nowhere, pictures and sounds of Jonathan - Jonathan calling out his name on Terra Nova when Malcolm had taken the bullet that had been meant for the captain - Jonathan gently pushing him back onto the biobed after Malcolm and Trip had been rescued from the shuttle pod - Jonathan breathing hard when he was straining to compete with Malcolm during a judo fight - Jonathan holding him down in one of their training sessions, all his weight on Malcolm's body. Malcolm felt a shiver running down his spine at those memories. "Mr Reed, shall we start?" The tactical officer swallowed and turned around. "Sure, Captain!" They
stepped onto the mat, took their positions facing each other and bowed
their heads in the customary greeting. As if to make up for that he tried to be a little ahead of Malcolm in everything they did. But with judo he never quite succeeded. After half an hour they where sweating and panting and Malcolm was pleased about the good progress Jonathan was making with his moves. When they had started with the classes at the beginning of their mission the captain had been good but he been too predictable. Now Malcolm had to concentrate a great deal. But he was grateful because that way he wasn't able to think about Jonathan's body so close to his. All of a sudden the captain turned around quickly and threw Malcolm down with a yama arashi and then used a kesa gatame to pin him to the mat. Malcolm was surprised and it seemed like Jonathan hadn't expected to be able to pull off that move successfully, too. They stared at each other, the only thing audible their rasping breaths. The captain's belt had come undone and the jacket of his judogi had fallen open. Malcolm was painfully aware of the heaving sweaty chest only inches above his face. Jonathan's green eyes were darker than usual and his breathing had quickened. Malcolm swallowed. The captain loosened his grip a little but instead of getting up and bowing like the judo rules dictated after such a move he didn't, he just kept on looking at the armory officer. Again Malcolm felt aroused and he just hoped that Jonathan wasn't able to feel his growing erection through the crude fabric of the white trousers of the judogi. He absentmindedly closed his eyes and inhaled deeply to luxuriate in the other man's scent, a mixture of sweat, cologne and grease. It was just like in his dreams. But in his dreams he would now reach out to the captain and ... Malcolm gasped when he felt Jonathan's hand caressing his cheek. He didn't dare open his eyes, afraid to find out that he was dreaming again. He sensed the captain's breath on his face as the older man bent down and placed a soft kiss on Malcolm's lips. The tactical officer was like paralyzed. This was what he had been dreaming of for so long and now he wasn't even able to react! When he came around and when he wanted to enjoy the sensation, Jonathan suddenly backed away. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant!" He grabbed his bag and hurriedly left the gym without another word. Malcolm turned around onto his stomach and looked at the closing door. Sighing he dropped his head onto the mat, tears blurring his vision. * * * Jonathan stood under the shower in his private quarters, letting the cold water wash away his embarrassment and his excitement. He just couldn't believe it, he had finally kissed his tactical officer! The captain didn't know for how long this kiss had been on his mind, he didn't even know for how long Malcolm had been on his mind. The Brit was so different from every man he had ever desired before, so self-controlled, so solemn, so proud. Jonathan smiled. His last relationship had been with Trip, now his chief engineer, and comparing Trip and Malcolm was almost impossible. The tactical officer touched something inside of the captain that no other person had ever touched before. The serenity with which he handled his job, the way he felt responsible for the security of every single member of the crew had moved Jonathan. He knew he could depend on Malcolm in every situation, no matter how dangerous. He sighed. He had always sworn himself that he wouldn't get involved with a member of his staff, those superior-subordinate-relationships never worked out and they always drew bad blood with the rest of the crew. When he had been together with Trip they never had had to think about something like that, they had just been fellow officers then. But now he was the captain of Enterprise and therefore Malcolm's CO, there was no way this could work out because the first move would have to come from Malcolm and that was never going to happen. All kinds of thoughts flashed through Jonathan's mind. Until now he had always thought Malcolm to be straight as an arrow. Okay, he had never seen him with a girl before but he had always thought Malcolm's shyness to be the reason for that. But only minutes before, when he had pinned the armory officer down onto the mat in the gym he had clearly felt the pressure of the younger man's hard cock against his side. Could it be that ...? No way, Malcolm hadn't reacted to his kiss, he had stiffened like a frightened animal! Jonathan went into the main room and lay down on his bed, still naked and wet from the shower. He fell asleep to the memory of finally tasting Malcolm's sweet lips. * * * The next few days were hard on Malcolm. On the bridge the captain had only spoken to him when it had been absolutely necessary but no personal words had been exchanged and the incident in the gym had not been mentioned. He tried to avoid being on the bridge and found excuses to work in the armory whenever it was possible. He couldn't stand to look at the captain because whenever he did he felt the other man's lips on his. Sometimes he hated being shy, it made so many things so hard. There were times he wished he could be as bold as Commander Tucker and just go out and face the captain, asking what that kiss had meant to him but Malcolm knew he would never find the courage to do that. * * * Jonathan lay on his bed. He hadn't been able to sleep in the last few days, the memories of Malcolm had returned every night and had kept him awake. The armory officer had avoided him and had worked in the armory instead of on the bridge. When Jonathan saw the younger man in the mess hall he seemed preoccupied and angry. It hurt him to see Malcolm like that and he knew that he was the one to blame, that stupid kiss had changed everything. The captain looked at his watch. It was way past midnight. "Porthos, how about a little walk?" The beagle yelped and rushed to the door of the captain's quarters. Jonathan opened it and went to the mess hall, the dog pouncing up and down between his feet. * * * "Trip?" Jonathan was surprised to find his best friend in the mess hall at this time of night. "Hey J!" Commander Charles Tucker III never called him J when they were on duty, only when they met in private. It was one of the few things left from their romantic relationship. "What are you doing here, Trip?" The Southerner grinned. "Ya know me! I did a double shift with Lieutenant Hess, we modified some of the warp coils! That engine can keep me awake all night long without me even noticin' it!" Jonathan just nodded absentmindedly and took a sip from the iced tea he had gotten from the dispenser. "You look awful, J!" The captain grimaced. "Gee, thanks!" Trip chuckled. "Come on, what's on ya mind?" Jonathan sighed. Trip had always been able to read him like a book. "Trouble with Malcolm?" Jonathan blushed. Was he that predictable? "How did you ...?" The engineer smiled. "I know the way ya look at somebody when ya're in love, J, I have felt that look on me often enough!" The captain walked over to the window and stared at the passing stars. Suddenly he blurted out everything that was on his mind. "I do love him, Trip! He's so different! I mean, first you, now him, what could be more different? But what am I supposed to do? You and me, that was something else, I wasn't your CO! But Malcolm is my tactical officer, under my order! What would the rest of the crew think? What would Star Fleet think?" The commander eyed him accusingly. "Oh, come on now, J! Ya never listened to others before! Listen to what your heart tells ya!" Jonathan turned around. "It doesn't matter anyway, he doesn't want me!" The blond chief engineer went over to Jonathan and padded his back. "Don't be too sure!" The captain sighed. "But when I kissed him during the last self-defense class ..." Trip interrupted him. "Ya kissed Malcolm?" Jonathan blushed. "Haven't I told you?" The engineer raised his eyes to the ceiling. "No, ya forgot to mention that little detail!" Jonathan told him about what had happened a few days ago. "I guess he was just surprised! I've spent time with him in that shuttle pod, J! When we thought that the NX-01 had been destroyed he was shattered! And I had the feelin' that though it surely was grief for the whole crew his main concern was for his captain!" Jonathan's eyes widened in hope. "Are you sure?" Trip smiled at him. "I can read between the lines, J! We talked a lot and I wouldn't be surprised if he felt somethin' more for ya than just loyalty to a superior!" * * * The next evening Malcolm sat in his quarters. He was supposed to be at Mayweather's birthday party but he lacked the energy to go. The captain would be there and that would mean more torture for his already hurt heart. He couldn't stand any more of that. Suddenly the tactical officer stood up, walked over to a mirror hanging on the wall and looked at himself. "And I won't take any more of that! What the heck, no risk, no fun!" He eyed himself curiously. Had he really said that? * * * Jonathan sighed and looked at his watch. 2100 hours. It was Mayweather's birthday and the crew had arranged a party. He didn't feel like going but he knew that he needed a little distraction. So he got out of his uniform, put on his favorite pair of blue jeans and a tight white sleeveless shirt and went to the mess hall. * * * It seemed like the party was a big hit, everybody was having a lot of fun. Jonathan went over to congratulate the birthday-boy Travis and found a place at a table with Trip, Hoshi and Dr. Phlox. Malcolm was nowhere to be seen. He tried to get his mind of the armory officer and to follow the conversation, but when Malcolm entered the mess hall he couldn't help but look at him. On the one hand he looked awful, the eyes red and puffy from lack of sleep, but on the other hand he was so handsome in his black chinos and the wide white shirt. Jonathan could feel a certain kind of determination in the young tactical officer and he was curious what it was about. * * * Malcolm sat down at a vacant table. He felt excited but he didn't know how to start. Holding on to his bottle of beer for support he looked over at the captain who was talking to Trip and he felt jealous. He stared at Jonathan, at his nice butt in that tight pair of blue jeans and at the marvelous pectorals wrapped up in the tight white sleeveless shirt which complimented his strong biceps and triceps. A new song started and with the first words Malcolm and Jonathan looked at each other, the blue eyes of the tactical officer never leaving the gaze of the green eyes of the captain. Come
and lay right on my bed Malcolm broke the contact by closing his eyes. He had to do it now or he would never again have the courage. He went over to the door, passing the table were Jonathan sat who kept looking at him the whole time. "Do you want to have this night, Jonathan?" he whispered. It felt so strange to call the captain by his first name. Malcolm said nothing else, just those eight words, and left the mess hall. * * * Jonathan stared after his armory officer. Had he really heard what he had just heard? Had the younger man just suggested spending the night with him? He had the feeling that every crew member was eyeing him suspiciously, that every single one of them had heard what Malcolm had said. But when he looked around he saw that nobody paid any attention to him, they were all talking and dancing and having fun, even the people at his own table. Jonathan swallowed. There was only one way to find out. He left the mess hall and made his way to the lieutenant's quarters. * * * The CO of the Enterprise took a deep breath and rang the bell. When the panel slid open Malcolm stood in the doorway, face flushed, hands twisting nervously behind his back. To Jonathan he looked absolutely gorgeous. The lieutenant cleared his throat. "Hello!" He stepped back into the room and beckoned the captain inside. Jonathan had never been in the younger man's quarters before but he wasn't surprised when he found them orderly cleaned and tidied. There weren't many personal belongings that could give away anything about the Brit. They stood facing each other. Malcolm studied Jonathan's face and stepped closer towards him. "Why did you kiss me, Jon?" He couldn't believe he was really asking his superior such a question. The captain smiled. "Because you looked so damn cute lying down on that mat, in my grip!" Malcolm took another step forward. They were only separated by inches now and he could feel Jonathan's breath on his face. "Why did you back away? I was so surprised and when I finally realized what was happening and when I wanted to show you how much that kiss meant to me you were gone!" Jonathan sighed. "You seemed to be so scared! I knew you were turned on but ..." The armory officer blushed. "What?!" The captain grinned. "Well, the fabric of the judogi may be crude but it was pretty obvious!" The Brit reached out and touched the older man's cheek. The captain closed his eyes, a shiver was running down his spine. "Mal, I ...!" Malcolm silenced him by putting a finger on his lips. He traced the older man's strong jaw line with the back of his hand and inhaled deeply. Jonathan smelled so good. He combed the thick sandy hair back with his fingers, rested his hand at the nape of the captain's neck and pulled Jonathan's head towards him. They met in a tender kiss. Jon's lips were soft and warm and moist and Malcolm traced them with the tip of his tongue. Jonathan's legs almost gave way when he felt Malcolm's tongue caressing his lips. He was so tender and caring, he had never thought it possible that his armory officer could act like that. The captain opened his mouth and carefully nibbled at the tactical officer's lips and tongue and fire ran through Malcolm's veins. He wrapped his arms around the older man and let himself fall into the lasciviousness of the moment. Jonathan felt Malcolm's hands on his naked arms. The fingers were caressing his skin and shivers of joy ran over his entire body. He let his hands wander over the well trained body of the young lieutenant and he could feel the strong muscles under the light fabric of the shirt. He tucked it out of the trousers and let his hands slide under the shirt to touch the strong pectorals. Jonathan heard Malcolm moan and he cherished that sound. He caressed one hard nipple with his thumb and he saw that Malcolm bit his lip in order not to cry out loud. Seeing the armory officer lose his composure turned the captain on and with one swift movement he ripped the shirt of Malcolm's chest. The tactical officer was breathing heavily and his chest already glistened with sweat. Jonathan bent down his head to cup one nipple with his lips and sucked on it until Malcolm couldn't hold back any more. The young lieutenant cried out loud and with that cry both Malcolm and Jonathan lost every little bit of patience that was left. They tore at their clothes, searching for naked flesh to touch and to taste. * * * When Jonathan awoke in the middle of the night he first didn't know where he was. But then he heard a regular breathing next to him and he turned around smiling to take a look at his armory officer. Malcolm had a happy smile on his lips, his hair was in disarray. He almost didn't look like the stern English lieutenant that took his job so seriously but like a little, very satisfied boy. He reached out to the Brit's face but when his fingers touched the warm skin he felt his arm being seized into a brutal grip and he was yanked out of the bed. "MAL!" The tactical officer was sitting on his chest, holding down the captain's arms with his knees. When he focused on Jonathan's face he started to grin foolishly. "Oops!" He got off the older man's body and held out his hand to help him stand up. "Sorry, I think I'm just not used to having other people stay in my quarters and touch me in the middle of the night!" They held each others hand as they stood facing each other. Malcolm looked down at the tips of his toes. "So, are you going back to your quarters or are you staying for rest of the night?" Jonathan's heart skipped a beat. He thought about what the crew would say if they saw him coming out of Malcolm's quarters the next morning but he also thought about what Trip had said, that he should listen to his heart. He put his fingers beneath Malcolm's chin, lifted the younger man's head and looked him deep into the eyes. "Lieutenant, if you can handle me being here and if you promise not to knock me out each time I touch you I would love to stay!"
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